The last day of 2007 -
2007 has gone by in a whiz. Everything happened so fast. A change in environment, from DHS to VJC. I thought I could adapt fast. But time proves me wrong.
My class 07S64 has provided me with the warmth that I need. Somehow we managed to have fun and study together. There weren't too much of conflicts (or at least I thought so). We enjoyed the classes we had - the constant shouting of "icebreakers" in order to skip lessons, laughing at how teachers mispronounce certain terms, copying lecture notes we missed - intentionally or unintentionally, all the fun we had, particularly from Project Work. Well, if someone were to ask me to go through PW again, I would say I wouldn't mind. Maybe you would say that I'm lucky to get some really great teammates for PW. But really, I enjoyed the process of PW, even though public speaking was never my forte, even though writing all the WRs, InRs, whatever Rs are challenges for someone who is relatively weaker in trying to express ideas in short, sharp and sweet sentences like me. But, we did learn a lot from PW. It was the satisfaction that we had after the completion of the seemingly torturous reports and presentations. Somehow it seemed worth it after all, and PW has proven to be useful for my case.
A huge change of curriculum and subjects to be learned in JC was also one tough hurdle I had to get across. Yes, I am the only girl in the 07 batch of Computing class. Who says I'm not lonely at times? But - Computing provides more satisfaction that I have ever gotten over any academic work. The success of coding a program that you thought would have never worked. The irregularities of answering questions that I have no knowledge is difficult, no doubt. But the discovery of all possibilities to the question is yet another joy. And especially due to the fact that the teacher-student ratio for our classes are relatively higher than any other subjects, we are closer to these teachers. There may be times of unhappiness, but all of us do work like one family. I remembered one of our classmates ( or rather, cohort-mates ) said this to the teacher, "As long as everyone in the class can do well for Computing, nothing really matters." I was thoroughly amazed at his unselfishness. So untypical of a JC student. He makes sense, doesn't he?
The journey through ThinkQuest would not have been possible if I have never taken up Computing. It is yet another great source of satisfaction that I have gotten from the project. It is less of a competition, but more of a project to me, since I have benefited more from its process than from its rewards. Yes, we won, unexpectedly. There were so many other websites that I would dare say, are better than us. To win, comes as an additional reward. I have never felt so accomplished before, to be able to work on such a large scale for a long (or short) period of 3 months. It was really hard - to get out from immature ideas and grow. Grow and do things up to the standard that they are supposed to be. It helped me gain another two close friends as well, who I spent two weeks of my time with in the year-end holidays. My parents were also able to visit America for the first time in their life, get to know more friends, to see what's really out there in the world. It was great, really.
CCAs took up quite some bit of my time during this year. Being in two CCAs is no easy feat - I remembered having to run between both 'stages' on a particular Thursday afternoon, where a particular rehearsal lacks manpower for the PA side, and where coaching was on but there was no M.D. with Mr. Ku. It was tough, but I enjoyed it tremendously.
The PA Crew has the greatest members ever - I didn't know what bonding was until I've seen it for myself. We crack jokes on the side of the stage, we act cool with the seemingly easy to use walkie talkies, we become really serious when a concert is put in place, we sat outside the PT to have our dinner together, we condemned people who thought the PA Crew was God-like to immediately set up equipment that they require within minutes and expect them to be working perfectly, we lined our laptops in the control room to game, we chat, we spent so much time that we really love one another. Its a place where grudges are never hold for too long, and jokes are being cracked practically all the time.
After joining the Piano Ensemble, I realise there are so many things I still have to learn about. So many. I have never ever given so much thought onto people's ego, which a kind mentor reminded me about. One person's ego can be the cause of everything - the want to go on stage and perform, as well as the want to leave the stage and quit the playing. It is all in the ego of human isn't it? The CCA is sort of less protected against the ugly side of human, as compared to the PA Crew. I hope this doesnt offend anyone but yes - I find that it is the truth after some time. Maybe it is that we are protected against what is really happening in the real world throughout our growing ages. Maybe it is time that we should really face what we will be facing in a couple of years' time when we really do step out into the society. Yet, the reluctance to do so is far more overwhelming than anything else. I would think that I have some bit of regrets taking the position I'm having now. I overestimated my own abilities. I know I didn't have the expertise I needed to carry out my job well, yet I wanted to challenge myself to it. Well, that was something that I did not foresee when I made the decision. It wasn't a really well-made one. I could have fit some other positions better than what I'm doing now. But never mind! I shall do what I can, to the best of my ability.
Having said that, there were many things that I have enjoyed in VJCPE. That is to try things that I have never ever tried before. Playing duets, playing trio, even planning a concert and seeing it through till the end. It was a memorable time working with the frontstage and backstage people during the 88 concert we had this year. It is indeed wonderful to understand how the whole concert is going to work. I have never ever worn a gown. I have never ever performed in front of such a big audience. I have never ever received flowers from a concert. I have never ever looked so much into the details of a repertoire. I have never knew how friends could be so encouraging when they come to your concert. It led me realise many things I have never pondered upon. It made me treasure even more things that I have at hand.
Being busy isn't really good. My academics were really much affected this year. I really didn't see that it would happen, but apparently I wasn't able to adapt as quickly as most would to the different style of teaching here. Lectures were hard to keep up to, especially when I didn't have a tuition teacher. Tutorials were incredibly hard, and there was no one I could ask to explain the whole chapter to me in detail. It was all up to me - to study independently like everyone else. Unfortunately, I didn't do it well. I guess it is a wake-up call for me, to really work hard by myself, for myself, as well as those who love me. I know really well they are - Just today all Jessica, WT and GJ called to say Jiayou. My Mom and Dad - to really give me the full support that I need. My bro - to learn and teach me stuff that he didn't even learn during his time.
The year of 2007 is filled with joy, unhappiness, satisfaction from various works, regrets of decisions, but I'm to have my family and friends to be by my side always. To those I haven't mentioned but have done something or another to brighten up my life - Thank you!
For the coming year, I simply hope that all the people I know will stay healthy and fine. To me, nothing beats a good health (Yah, I know I sound like some auntie from the market but...). And for myself, my new year's resolution will be to work really hard, in academics or in life itself, so that I won't let down the people who love me.
Love and Happy New Year to all!
jR.
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